kapis asked: Zoey, how can I be so sure that you are and incredibly beautiful person without having even seen a picture of you? I don't mean this in a creepy way, you're an amazing person and I really look up to you :) We don't need a photo of you, we already know you are beautiful! Don't feel pressured to put a picture of you out there because we don't need it :)
I’m just going to ramble about some of my anxieties, this isn’t particularly aimed at you I just want to talk about it and get it off my mind.
I want my videos to make as many people happy as possible. That’s my mission, that’s the top priority. My opinion is that not knowing what I look like is resulting in some people not focusing on the actual content of the videos, what I’m saying, what I’m doing, so they are not satisfying my goal. Likewise, facecam works for a lot of people and it can definitely add to a video, but for me, I feel it would actually be detrimental, and people would be focusing on what I’m looking like than what I’m saying.
I do feel pressured to release a photo of me, but it’s not because of people asking for a photo of me. It’s because a notable portion of comments on my video is mocking my voice in some way, most commonly stating that I sound like a dude. I have no problems with this. Dudes are awesome. My voice is pretty unique and recognizable and I wouldn’t want to change that. What I do want to change is the people just going to my videos to comment about it, which again doesn’t satisfy the goal. As such, my solution to that seems to be to release a photo of me. No-one would question my gender after that. (That sounds a bit arrogant, I do recognize I’m privileged and lucky to have relatively good looks.) The point of doing that would be that then people would maybe change the focus of their comments to actually be about the video, and I can make people happier by doing so.
However, that cycles back to the first point. I’d then have released a photo of me and even if it solves one problem, it creates another.
I don’t know what will happen after releasing a photo. What if it’s not the end. What if I release a photo and it doesn’t stop any of that from happening. What if some people just ask for more, they start demanding facecam, they start using my photo maliciously for photoshops etc., I don’t know. I’m rambling and ranting right now trying to get this all of my brain, because I don’t know what the problem is, and I don’t know what the solution is.
Some people want a photo of me, I can give them a photo of me no problem, but then what if it doesn’t change anything, and those people would only thereafter think about even more photos of me, not my content.
I need people to watch my videos for the content. I need to know I’m making people happy. As many people as possible. For the humour, the things I say, the game I play. Not for what I look like, or the fact that I’m female, or because they think they somehow are entitled to invade my privacy after watching a video. I provide a free service, (hopefully) funny videos, every week. That should be it. That should be enough. I just want people to be happy, I just want people to smile. They won’t be able to if I’m not happy myself, if I couldn’t do videos any more because the message was lost, and it just became about what I looked like.
I want people to know who I am, I want to be confident in who I am, but I don’t want anything to change. I just want people to laugh with the goofy girl on Youtube.